I was walking on the sidewalk of Tirona Highway at 4:35 am, wondering how the moonlight made me feel light as I walk.
Although I felt lighter in terms of walking, my feelings are quite gloomy. (Sorry but I hope you don’t mind me posting my emotional thoughts in this blog)
I wasn’t really sad at first, it was just gloomy as I walk towards home. I thought about how hard it was to be a Call Center agent which makes me be tagged as a working mom. Especially when working in this kind of shift. I mean I am from Cavite and I work at BGC Taguig. I travel almost 2-3 hours going to work and about the same hours going home. It is really exhausting to travel because most of your spent moments at the bus happen while you’re standing. As you get off the bus you have to walk to your destination.
I walk from home to the main road of the subdivision, wait for a pedicab ride to SM Bacoor. Walk from the mall to Meralco or Andrea to wait for a bus. Then walk from the bus stop to BGC bus then walk from 7th ave to Uptown Mall then some few more walks upstairs and going to elevator from ground to 4th then another set of walk to get to the elevator from 4th to 14th.
Imagine that! I’m just getting off to work with that travel-to-work journey. Don’t ask for how it goes with the travel-to-home. It’s much worst. I walk farther than that and I have to climb up the 1 and 1/4 story overpass at Guadalupe EDSA.
Actually, due to my super tiring day, I fell asleep on the bus and woke up realizing that I am more than 100 meters away from my supposed drop-off. I walked an extra 100 meters or so because of that lapse.
Well, travel is not the only thing I didn’t like about my current standing. I also felt sad realizing that I am home yet everyone is sleeping. No one would really bother asking you how was your day or have you eaten dinner or any question that would show care for you. Then the next day you’ll wake up just to eat and fix yourself because you have to go early to make sure you’ll make it on time.
I never kept a key so that I would at least remember that I have relatives in this home but as they open the door without talking at all, I still felt alone.
So I usually decide to eat alone. I’m so happy I have a baby tho. My 1st born Alex is asleep and you can’t wake a kid just to catch up with him. But I usually wake the baby up if she’s sleeping because I have to feed her. She’s not a fussy baby. So she’s fine when I wake her up.
I did cry earlier because of those reasons which I quite realized to be irrational (I’m not really sure though) but when Mikayla woke up after buzzing her a bit, she smiled and made me happy again.
This month I had more sad days than happy days based on my journal. But as the new moon, I wanted to bring the brightest light out of me. I’m hoping I could just shrug off the month that we just called “January the first month of a new year”
My mom woke up and I told her about the funny part of taking the moon’s photo which is about how I felt an urge to take a photo of the moon and how everyone looked towards where my phone is directed to take a photo. They were so curious about what object am I trying to capture.
She told me that there’s really something going with the moon today and that there’s like some eclipse and something blue lights on it. She said that there should be like three different events with the moon today she’s just not sure what they were called but she’s sure it’s like an eclipse or something.